This World of Superficialities

Phony.

That's Holden's favourite word. Oh, and we're reading The Catcher in the Rye in class now, by the way. You know, that book I had to keep out becuz we were SUPPOSED to read it in class, but we decided to read The Crucible and The Road instead and then it was overdue and when I had to return it I knew that as soon as I returned it we'd suddenly decide to read it in class??? Yeah, well, that book.

Holden is the main character, and to him the schools he attended and the people in them are all phony. They aren't real, or at least they aren't what they pretend to be. We talked about how our current ambitions and goals may not be entirely "ours." Like, how many of our dreams and goals are actually made up by us, and how many of them were pushed upon us by others, like our parents or role models.

I was thinking along the ride home when SO said I had better join more clubs than my current ones; and "not fun ones," no. Things where I volunteer and stuff like that. Now, I have no problem volunteering, but I didn't like how SO described other clubs activities I might consider participating in as "not fun.' I told them "There's no reason if it's not fun." Which is true. I have like 7 hours of school, and clubs are my only escape. I would like my relaxation to be FUN.

Then SO went on to say that I should join things (my bro is in the theater/drama production club-thing) that'll "just look good on my [college] résumé." Really? That was when I started thinking thoughts about things being phony. I mean, everything we do is fake, phony. When you look at it, if you don't do things truly for yourself, it's not true or real. Why do we all get educated? Sure, it'll be better for us, or so they say, but that is a goal and expectation set for us by others. That's why there's a law that all adolescents under 17 (and over a certain age) must attend school.

But what if we don't want to? Even if it's a good idea (note, education is teaching us what we assume is true, what we are taught is true), it may not be our idea initially to attend school. And college. EVERYTHING WE DO IS FOR COLLEGE. What if I don't wanna got o college? I mean, really, that's just something my parents want from me, and although I appreciate it, I need to admit that it's not necessarily my dream. I didn't even consider college at all when I thought about my future life back when I was younger. If I did, I wanted to be a chemist, just because my foolish, childhood generalization of a chemist was you poured liquids together (in cool beakers) and made them explode.

We learn things in school so we'll get good grades to get into good colleges, but that's phony then, isn't it? Because we aren't being ourselves or displaying our true intentions. A lot of extracurricular activities are done for the sake of scholarships and dressing up our résumés. I am sick of it, really, but the reality of it is that this is the world we live in. Almost everything we do has an ulterior motive, and because of that almost everything we do is phony.

Maybe...maybe I don't want to go to college. At least not right now.

...

On a completely unrelated note, I found a penny today. It is in my shoelaces. I am 1¢ richer.

--Natch